Counselling case studies
Permission to use these case studies was granted, but names and identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality. If you too would like to seek some counselling support and see your life transformed, check out my counselling page for how I can help.
'Sarah'
Sarah was in her late 30’s and came to counselling in a dark place. She described herself as having depression, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. With two young children to raise, she was finding life a struggle. She felt isolated being at home all day and longed for a part-time job. The main changes Sarah wanted to make were around her disordered eating and low self-esteem.
As the sessions progressed, Sarah reflected on her difficult childhood and the major losses in her life. Working through resentment, loneliness and high expectations of herself, Sarah slowly built up confidence and put trust in herself and those around her. She felt less judged by others and learnt not to withdraw but to face her problems and accept herself. In doing so, Sarah came through her depression and the relationships with those close to her improved dramatically. She became more mindful of her eating and her own needs.
Life was much brighter and Sarah had so much more energy for her children. She realised that not having grieved for the past losses in her life, was why she felt so stuck and in despair. She was repeating old unhelpful patterns and whilst it was scary for her to revisit the painful times in her life, she wondered why she didn’t pluck up the courage to have counselling many years ago. Sarah’s marriage even improved; being more open and expressing how she felt brought her and her husband much closer. Feeling stronger and more in control, Sarah felt ready to start looking for jobs. Sarah completed 25 counselling sessions and left the following testimonial -
'Sarah'
Sarah was in her late 30’s and came to counselling in a dark place. She described herself as having depression, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. With two young children to raise, she was finding life a struggle. She felt isolated being at home all day and longed for a part-time job. The main changes Sarah wanted to make were around her disordered eating and low self-esteem.
As the sessions progressed, Sarah reflected on her difficult childhood and the major losses in her life. Working through resentment, loneliness and high expectations of herself, Sarah slowly built up confidence and put trust in herself and those around her. She felt less judged by others and learnt not to withdraw but to face her problems and accept herself. In doing so, Sarah came through her depression and the relationships with those close to her improved dramatically. She became more mindful of her eating and her own needs.
Life was much brighter and Sarah had so much more energy for her children. She realised that not having grieved for the past losses in her life, was why she felt so stuck and in despair. She was repeating old unhelpful patterns and whilst it was scary for her to revisit the painful times in her life, she wondered why she didn’t pluck up the courage to have counselling many years ago. Sarah’s marriage even improved; being more open and expressing how she felt brought her and her husband much closer. Feeling stronger and more in control, Sarah felt ready to start looking for jobs. Sarah completed 25 counselling sessions and left the following testimonial -
Chloe has been a great source of wisdom to me. She helped me work through many critical issues from past and present. She was often able to uncover issues that I wasn’t consciously aware of and it was helpful to see things clearly. She never seemed impatient of my endless conversation on a certain topic while I was trying to grapple with the emotions and thoughts they elicited. I do feel as though I am so much further down the road to having a healthy ability to cope with life issues.
'Frances'
Frances spent most of her life as an unpaid carer, and for the last 20 years she had looked after her 80 year old husband. After many serious illnesses, he was also diagnosed with dementia and it had been a long and painful loss with each day getting more challenging. Frances never imagined retirement being so stressful, overwhelming and exhausting; with the 24 hour care she provided to the man who used to be the breadwinner of the family.
Without any family support and having lost most of her friends due to her intensive caring responsibilities, Frances came for counselling in a desperate and agitated state. She was struggling to cope as her caring demands grew, and her own mental and physical health started to deteriorate. Having had a strict upbringing and told to ‘just carry on and be strong’, it was hard for Frances to reach out for help and admit she needed some support.
One of the hardest things for Frances to disclose though, was that the husband she had fallen in love with and married over 60 years ago, had become aggressive and violent; directing all of his inner turmoil and frustration at her. He frightened Frances, and she had lost her confidence and self esteem; feeling worthless and hopeless. She felt she couldn’t do anything right and was tearful most days. Frances started to believe she was to blame for his illness, as he had told her many times. She described the complicated role she had caring for someone who didn’t show respect, appreciation and perhaps didn’t even love her anymore.
Over eight sessions of weekly counselling with Chloë at Norfolk Carers Support (now Norfolk Family Carers), Frances grew to accept her husband’s cruel illness and learnt to manage his anger without taking it personally. She discovered if she changed her behaviour, his
behaviour changed too, which resulted in significantly less aggression. Frances found ways to manage better day to day, put boundaries in place, and establish safe ways to protect herself. Frances was open to change as she knew she couldn’t go on as she was. Her stress levels were high; she was having problems with her stomach and for many years had suffered from daily headaches and nightmares.
With support, Frances safely explored her difficult and uncomfortable feelings of ambiguous loss and uncertainty – losing someone she loved, who was sometimes ‘there but not there’. She was fearful of what would happen when her husband’s care needs became too much for her to manage, and the worry of loneliness if he was not with her at home. Frances reflected on her roles as a wife and carer, re-established her identity and looked more positively at the future as she started to rebuild her confidence and life outside of caring.
She felt plucking up the courage to ask for support was the best thing she could have done, although it took her time to build trust to honestly disclose her deepest feelings in the counselling room. Frances found talking confidentially to a counsellor without judgement helped release many tensions and worries she had carried for years. She said, “It was the first time in my life I have ever thought about myself and considered my own needs – it felt strange! I have always put everyone else before me.” Frances concluded she needed more support with her caring role and would start asking her family for their help.
Having never had counselling before, Frances could clearly see the benefits of talking and being heard by someone with great empathy, who understood her situation. Through her persistence, reflection and patience, Frances had opened the door and was able to move forwards with a new perspective and a positive approach to her caring role. Frances didn’t find counselling easy and explained, “It would have been easy to get off the train and walk the other way, but I really wanted things to change and realised it was up to me.” However, Frances wished she had sought support many years ago during another tough period of her life.
Frances’ transformation in just two months, after 20 years of struggles, was incredible. Because she was more resilient, able to cope better and be more in control of her situation; she experienced much less anxiety and stress when challenging situations arose. Her headaches and stomach problems disappeared and she hadn’t had a nightmare in weeks. Frances no longer felt tearful and overwhelmed at her caring responsibilities, although still felt sad at the loss of her husband. Through being able to let go of certain things and become adaptable, she regained her power and no longer felt frightened. His illness was beyond her control and underneath his dementia, he was still the man she had loved and cherished for over six decades. She had found new hope and strength to carry on.
Frances spent most of her life as an unpaid carer, and for the last 20 years she had looked after her 80 year old husband. After many serious illnesses, he was also diagnosed with dementia and it had been a long and painful loss with each day getting more challenging. Frances never imagined retirement being so stressful, overwhelming and exhausting; with the 24 hour care she provided to the man who used to be the breadwinner of the family.
Without any family support and having lost most of her friends due to her intensive caring responsibilities, Frances came for counselling in a desperate and agitated state. She was struggling to cope as her caring demands grew, and her own mental and physical health started to deteriorate. Having had a strict upbringing and told to ‘just carry on and be strong’, it was hard for Frances to reach out for help and admit she needed some support.
One of the hardest things for Frances to disclose though, was that the husband she had fallen in love with and married over 60 years ago, had become aggressive and violent; directing all of his inner turmoil and frustration at her. He frightened Frances, and she had lost her confidence and self esteem; feeling worthless and hopeless. She felt she couldn’t do anything right and was tearful most days. Frances started to believe she was to blame for his illness, as he had told her many times. She described the complicated role she had caring for someone who didn’t show respect, appreciation and perhaps didn’t even love her anymore.
Over eight sessions of weekly counselling with Chloë at Norfolk Carers Support (now Norfolk Family Carers), Frances grew to accept her husband’s cruel illness and learnt to manage his anger without taking it personally. She discovered if she changed her behaviour, his
behaviour changed too, which resulted in significantly less aggression. Frances found ways to manage better day to day, put boundaries in place, and establish safe ways to protect herself. Frances was open to change as she knew she couldn’t go on as she was. Her stress levels were high; she was having problems with her stomach and for many years had suffered from daily headaches and nightmares.
With support, Frances safely explored her difficult and uncomfortable feelings of ambiguous loss and uncertainty – losing someone she loved, who was sometimes ‘there but not there’. She was fearful of what would happen when her husband’s care needs became too much for her to manage, and the worry of loneliness if he was not with her at home. Frances reflected on her roles as a wife and carer, re-established her identity and looked more positively at the future as she started to rebuild her confidence and life outside of caring.
She felt plucking up the courage to ask for support was the best thing she could have done, although it took her time to build trust to honestly disclose her deepest feelings in the counselling room. Frances found talking confidentially to a counsellor without judgement helped release many tensions and worries she had carried for years. She said, “It was the first time in my life I have ever thought about myself and considered my own needs – it felt strange! I have always put everyone else before me.” Frances concluded she needed more support with her caring role and would start asking her family for their help.
Having never had counselling before, Frances could clearly see the benefits of talking and being heard by someone with great empathy, who understood her situation. Through her persistence, reflection and patience, Frances had opened the door and was able to move forwards with a new perspective and a positive approach to her caring role. Frances didn’t find counselling easy and explained, “It would have been easy to get off the train and walk the other way, but I really wanted things to change and realised it was up to me.” However, Frances wished she had sought support many years ago during another tough period of her life.
Frances’ transformation in just two months, after 20 years of struggles, was incredible. Because she was more resilient, able to cope better and be more in control of her situation; she experienced much less anxiety and stress when challenging situations arose. Her headaches and stomach problems disappeared and she hadn’t had a nightmare in weeks. Frances no longer felt tearful and overwhelmed at her caring responsibilities, although still felt sad at the loss of her husband. Through being able to let go of certain things and become adaptable, she regained her power and no longer felt frightened. His illness was beyond her control and underneath his dementia, he was still the man she had loved and cherished for over six decades. She had found new hope and strength to carry on.
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